What’s on my mind?

There is one answer that is always correct.

Shoes.  No, really. For serious. I can’t get enough shoes. I guess I’m a shoe addict.

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(above: some fabulous Chanel thing from this year I think.)

This causes a few problems in my life. For starters I only have 2 feet. This has always pissed me off because sometimes I want to wear more than 1 pair. And wearing 1 each of 2 different pairs never works unless they’re Chuck Taylors (I have 6 pairs of them) because you will fall down a lot. But the most major issue that arises from my love of footwear is BEING BROKE. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve spent $70 of the remaining $100 in my bank account on a pair of black platforms. A much more common problem, though, is that every once in a while a designer will come out with a shoe that was OBVIOUSLY designed just for me- as if they had my size 9.5 B in mind while creating the shoe. How is this a problem? 9 times out of ten, this dream shoe is prohibitively priced. Exhibit A: The NIB Sam Edelman Balenciaga Zoe Harness Boot.

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JUST LOOK AT THEM! They seem to be screaming “PUNKROCKBETH!” at the top of their little lungs. They’re everything I want from a shoe. They’re black. The hardware is silver, not gold or brass. They have a covered platform and a wedge style heel, but with juuuuuuuuuuuust enough heel definition that I could still hook them over the bottom of a barstool and not let my feet dangle. The harness embellishment is totally removable, so these boots can go from tough and industrial looking to sleek and modern within seconds. They’re like 2 years old so one would assume that you could find them or a reasonable knock off pair on eBay for like $100, right? WRONG! So wrong! The cheapest eBay listing I’ve found for them is still $685!!!!!! That’s 1 month rent for me! Yet still, literally every day, I Google these boots in hopes of finding them or something similar in my meager $100 price range. I thought I had hit the jackpot when I found out Victoria’s Secret made a knock off pair for $149, but they sold out nearly overnight and now the f@cking knockoffs are reselling for $300. I guess I’ll just have to wait 20 years and find them in a Salvation Army store.

There are other really good examples of this phenomenon. Take for instance the Christian Louboutin Nitoinimoi Bandage Ankle Boot:

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They also come in black and gray (I LOVE the gray) but don’t you think the blue ones are just to DIE for? How much, you ask? The cheapest price I’ve found on these is $515. I know. It is nearly soul crushing. I just keep imagining myself in Louboutin Bandage Boots and an Herve Leger Bandage Dress:

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Where does my obsession with exorbitantly priced shoes come from?    My mom loves shoes, but has never owned a pair that cost more than $100 so that couldn’t be the root of the issue. My Gi-Gi (mom’s mom) has tiny little feet so starting in the fourth grade, I was clicking around her house in gold stilettos with topaz rhinestones. But I guess it started with dance classes as a little girl. There was something so magical about pointe shoes to me. Even after I was old enough to dance in them, and subsequently found out how NOT fun they could be for your feet, I still thought of them as something otherworldly and special. Maybe that’s why I want a pair of these Louboutins so badly:

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What’s my point, or dare you say, pointe? Simple. No one I know actually knows how to make shoes. That’s why I am beginning a quest. I want to learn to MAKE SHOES. I know that shoes are not actually made by elves, so there is no reason why I can’t learn to craft footwear. I haven’t done a TON of research yet, but let’s just say that the irons are in the fire and it won’t be long until I’m making my own knockoffs, bishes.

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~ by punkrockbeth on November 14, 2009.

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