New Year, Bish.

I know, I know. . .  I’ve been away so long you thought I’d never come back. Sorry about that. You know how “The Holidaze” are. I spent most of my Xmas weekend with my hand over my left eye in terrible agony because running eyeball first into lamps is just something I had to try. I also spent a lot of time pondering how the F@CK David Bowie and Bing Crosby ended up in a recording studio together.

In addition to the regular stuff, I decided that just because I don’t do the Jesus thing doesn’t mean that I have to be miserable for the whole month of December. Christmas and everything it represents (except for the idea of getting gifts on someone else’s birthday) kind of makes me nuts. I don’t know that I’ve ever believed in the Christian version of things my whole life. I did a pretty good job faking it as a kid, but somewhere deep down I knew that the idea of “God” offered me no comfort. In fact, I distinctly remember finding it pretty comforting that I was smarter than everyone who DID believe that stuff. Don’t worry, my pedestal is a lonely place.

(Illustration by Danny Hellman)

Anyway, my point is, I sort of “reclaimed” Christmas this year. My manfriend and I exchanged inappropriate gifts; I got him a copy of Religulous and he found me the antique German straight razor of my dreams. I drank microwaved sake out of coffee cups and declared Inglorious Bastards my favorite holiday movie, and I had a sex dream about Clark W. Griswold. Sorry. My new comfort is in knowing that I can effectively shut out the rest of the world and enjoy my friends and family on my own terms.

I also had, what I believe to be, the most successful New Year’s Eve experience of my entire adult life. I say adult life because nothing will ever beat the skating rink NYE bashes of old. This year, however, I stayed out of the bars. Manfriend threw a little bathtub bonfire shindig in the backyard. I drank a bottle of champagne before midnight and one after midnight. I was in bed by 3. The hangover the next day was also monumental.

Today, there is ice on the streets so I’ve taken a sneaux day. I have Blue Moon beer and obligatory oranges. I have have poppin-fresh canned cinnamon rolls. I have toilet paper. I have a very hyper German shepherd. I have plans to level my WoW character to 20.

Life is good.


~ by punkrockbeth on January 8, 2010.

One Response to “New Year, Bish.”

  1. Today is the greatest holiday of all: David (Robert Hayward Jones) Bowie’s birthday. Hooray!

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